'We were looking at each other as if we had met after ages and ages. We were just standing facing each other. Both of our eyes were expressing the emotions of our hearts. They were uttering every little detail. We happened to forget the people around us, we forgot the place we were right at that moment if there were some other things for me it was her and for her, if there were anyone in the world at that moment, it was me. After that pause from both of us, she came nearer and nearer and hugged me. Oh, God! In her arms, it felt like the world is here. I was like, Why the fuck do people search for the purpose of life when it's hidden in every little moment?
Ah! Let’s get back to the story. It was when we had given our SLC examination, oh yeah! That iron gate. We happened to meet at the bridge course institute. To be honest, that first day as I entered the classroom the only thing that attracted me was her smile. And what more do I need? I went and sat at the desk right behind her. I was lost in her flaw. The teacher asked each one of us to introduce ourselves. When it was my turn and I introduced myself to everyone over there, she turned back and smiled at me Again. I was like what the hell is going on. The first day ended, and I found myself thinking about her after the class, the whole day. How come some strangers give me a familiar smile?
The next day, as soon as the first period was over she turned back and said, I heard that you play basketball real good. Fuck man, I even don’t know that girl, how come she knew about me? I assumed she must be throwing stones blindly into the tree full of mangos. I simply said, no I don’t know basketball. She was an iron nail and my answer couldn’t hammer her down. ‘Your eyes say you are lying. Ok, let that be even if your eyes are lying I know you are good at it she wasn’t giving up and I have to break that conversation into a formal one. I asked her how she knew about me. She wasn’t going to listen to me, she kept talking. I also heard you are really good at your study. Oh god! Was that smile for this all. Does that smile mean I have to hear her talk as if I don’t have a mouth or a tongue? I again asked her, how she knew about me? She then claimed and said she know even more about me and will share everything in the following days as we had a lot of them when we are studying here.
And again that next day I found myself thinking more about her. As if I was already falling for her. I was eagerly waiting for the next day. Finally, the next day came and we again broke into the conversation. And this day I asked her how she knew about me? And she was like I already said it to you. And again I was like this girl is really hard. She hadn’t told me anything and blamed me for having a volatile memory. I gave up and started the conversation again, ok I am sorry, I forgot will you tell me again. And she said you are a batch junior to my brother and are a friend of my cousin. Oh, then that is how you knew every little detail of me. Yeah as soon as I heard the name of your school, I was quite sure I could know every detail about you. I went home and asked my cousin about you. As the days went on, we started being closer as a friend but somewhere between I was already in love with her. Before our course ended she asked me where I was planning for my study. When I shared my plan she said it was her target too. Her parents want her to enroll in the same school and so does she. We departed then. We would sometimes talk over Facebook but just simple Hi hello and How are you?
It was then during the entrance examination in the school we both have been targeting for. We happened to meet after the exam was over. I still remember she was in blue jeans and Converse shoes. She was looking daam good and more beautiful with her spread-long hair. We talked for a while and dismissed. No more talks after that, not even on Facebook too. And it was the day of the result of our entrance, I couldn’t go to the school to see the result myself so I asked one of my friends to look it up for me. I gave him another name too. And that was of hers. Thank god both of us were able to put our names in the result sheet. It wasn’t over yet. We still have to go through an interview to get enrolled. Her interview time was an hour and a half late than mine and I had no chance of meeting and talking to her. My interview got delayed as it was lunchtime for the interviewers. I was thanking God and hoped to meet her. And yeah as I completed my interview I was about to leave and then saw someone approaching me. And to my surprise it was her. I could notice nothing except her smile. We talked for a few minutes as she had to go for her interview. Then we departed. The results were out, both were selected. We were happy in our own way. She was happy as she could study in the school that she and her parents wanted and to me, I was happy as it was also the school that I had targeted and moreover, she was also studying in the same school.
Classes started, new friends and new teachers but my eyes were searching for her in that crowd. Ah! long hair, a smiling face, and a sweet voice. We exchanged some words and left. I was falling for her, we were now talking for a longer time on Facebook and exchanging every little detail about each other. Gossiping about friends, talking about subject matters, helping each other with our problems, encouraging each other, life was going well. I had hidden my feelings and wanted to know hers. As I mentioned before she is an iron nail. None could understand her, I guess. One day before Dashain I expressed my feeling and emotions to her. We exchanged our numbers, and yeah after a year we had been close we exchanged our numbers. The school was off for the festival. We talked a lot. Everything was going well. Time flies soon, yeah people said it well. Two years had passed too soon that we couldn't make too many memories together. But the memories we made could be enough for us to live our life, memories of those tours, every program, and every day in the school.
Finally, we graduated from our course, after two years. That was the time for us to make lifelong decisions. She planned for abroad study and I planned to do my best in my own motherland. The time came, she was leaving for her study to the land where she had never been. We met at the airport. Mixed emotions, yeah with teary eyes she was asking me never to forget her. How the hell could I? I replied, I won’t be able to forget you but I am not sure if you will remember me. I am unsure if you will treat me as a stranger. She said no she never could. I was left alone in that airport, watching her plane fly away, I saw my love fading away. In the evening the next day, I received a text from her saying she had reached and was missing me during her journey. She said she was dreaming that I was next to her seat and she was resting on my shoulder. Fuck, man! It brought tears to my eyes, I couldn’t express what I had felt all alone.
The conversation was going on we were again sharing everything. She was doing well in her studies. I was moving on too. I was moving as per my plan. I was moving forward to achieve my goals. I had shared my dreams with her. We were dreaming of the future together, we were living in our dreamland more than her it was me. She once asked me to apply to the college she was studying. I thought a lot. I had prepared all my documents and was planning to apply after my 4th semester, but I had said to her that I won’t. After I said I won’t, our conversation started getting thinner and thinner. Sooner we were contactless. I tried to find her everywhere on the Internet, but I couldn’t. I was worried and depressed. Ah! finally, I found that her best friend was studying at the same college. She was her best friend and a good friend of mine too. I asked her why she was out of every social networking site. As per her best friend, she wasn’t out of any then I realized the one who had promised me that she won't forget me had finally forgotten. For a few days, I was totally lost in the memories that we had created together. I tried every possible way to communicate with her but couldn’t. I then had only one way to communicate with her and that was through her best friend. I asked her best friend if I could talk to her and she said she no longer wants to start conversations with me as she was about some other boy there in the same college. Oh! Fuck. My dreams, ah! built-in the air and shattered in a second. But she said she could convince her to talk to me at least once. The next day we talked, and with a heavy heart I wished her all the best in her life. And made her remember what I had said before she flew away. Then after we were contactless. COMPLETELY STRANGERS.
It was a Saturday morning, and I woke up with a ring in my cell. I was feeling lazy as I had had a busy Friday. I looked at the number, it was hers. The number, we had exchanged when we were in school. Negative thoughts started capturing my mind. She was not here in Nepal and how come I got a call from her number in Nepal. I received it and was shocked to hear the familiar voice from the next side. The voice that I had been missing for three long years. She said nothing except, to be there at 11 AM, in the place you used to wait for me. I looked at the time, it was already 10:15. I had overslept. It took me no moment to decide that I wanted to go. I jumped out of bed, got dressed, and moved to where I used to wait for her years back. The place was the same, but the moment was different. Before I used to wait for the one who always wanted to be by my side but now I was waiting for the one who was already committed to others.
She came there 30 minutes late. Ah doesn’t matter, I had waited longer than that in the same place. She approached near to me with a faded smile on her face. Her smile was different, her hair was not as it used to be nor was her heart. We were looking at each other as if we had met after ages and ages. We were just standing facing each other. Both of our eyes were expressing the emotions of our hearts. They were uttering every little detail. We happened to forget the people around us, we forgot the place we were right at that moment if there were some other thing for me at that moment, it was her. After that pause from both of us, she came nearer and nearer and hugged me. Oh, God! In her arms, it felt like the world is here. For the first time in my life, she had hugged me. I was like, Why the fuck do people search for the purpose of life when it's hidden in every little moment? We then went to a nearby café. She ordered a cold drink and I ordered a coffee with a cigarette. She looked at me and asked me when. Simple I replied, since my dreams built on the clouds shattered. She couldn’t hold herself and was in her tears. She hugged me again and said she wanted to be with me. Man, that was what I had wanted in my life, but I couldn’t decide what to say. After some talks, she hugged me again as if there were none except me for her in this world. I couldn’t stop kissing her forehead and again she was in tears. I was driven emotionally. We then departed. Now again, we talk for hours and hours. I have started building my dream in the clouds again.’
He slightly raised his head with his eyes full of tears and asked me, ‘Now you say me what should I do. I want her in my life, that was the ultimate goal. But, she had once walked away from me and I am afraid that the dreams I have built again might get destroyed.’ I was speechless. I could see his love for her in his eyes. I could say nothing more. I hugged him and said, ‘it's life bro, you were born alone and you have to die alone when you live to help others live to bring happiness and a smile to their face. Live the way you achieve your target. Dreaming is good and easy but living is hard.’
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